I Have Lost Something Very Important.

As I tend to do.

Inside my scout pack, I always carry around my raggedy journal – and it isn’t in there today. Nor is it in the house, or the garage, or the mailbox, or the park, or the bookstore. No, it is somewhere in the ether.

It has all manner of things inside it: doodles, poems, napkins, wishes, photographs, ghanaian addresses, treasure maps, rap lyrics, and bedtime stories. But most of all it is full of memories – all of the greatest things I have discovered in year nineteen of life. And these are the scariest to loose. It is the closest I can get to amnesia without being in a soap opera.

That journal held things so very complicated. They were things I wanted to remember, and things I wanted to forget, and then remember much later. I’m scared I’ve lost the heavy things, written in my tiniest handwriting, cause they carried so much weight. I’ve still got most of it in my head, yes, but not knowing exactly what I lost is like little cracks in my rib cage.


~ by warpaintandwandering on October 21, 2010.

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